Archive for November, 2010

November 24, 2010

The Fair

The fair came to town this week. And a group of us spent a few hours getting immeasurable dizzy (some sick) on a variety of rides. My favourite was a ride that swung like a pendulum while spinning. My mate Ali screamed all the way through, much to his embarassament and the Girls Hockey Team’s ammusement.

For those of you who don’t know Ali, here’s a picture of him the time he said he could swallow a teaspoon of cinnamon and Rhodri said he couldn’t.

Remember Rhodri?

If I had children I wouldn’t let them near him either.

Anyway that picture of Ali swallowing that cinnamon makes you sick doesn’t it. Well it made him sick too. And then he passed out and we rolled him in a blanket like this.

Now that’s a bit more harmonious.

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November 24, 2010

Digital Poetries

I attended my first lecture of the semester this week. I arrived early. Sat down near the back to be conspicuous. Got out my notebook. Got out a pen. Got out a stick of gum. And waited.

Then a man arrived who can only be described as a New Age Robin Williams and he proceeded to spend the next two hours gawbling about how he spent years travelling in South-East Asia becoming inspired to write what he called Digital Poetries.

I’m guessing you haven’t heard of it either but it looks a little something like this. Click on the image to see it in true moving form.

So, it’s kind of interesting. Annoyingly though, the two hours weren’t spent teaching us how to produce a piece of work like the fish, but instead we heard how to create a series powerpoint slides to look like a flip book. And I don’t want to make this personal but this guy used Internet Explorer when Firefox was available. I mean Internet Explorer…! I think that is probably the biggest faux pas amongst computer literate students.

The concept of Digital Poetries is interesting I think, but will only become popular in 10 or 20 years time when everyone will be able to read it on their iPad v.10 or Amazon Kindle v.15. But I guess boundaries don’t get pushed without some experimentation first. Anyway half interesting stuff, but mainly a disappointing lecture.

November 17, 2010

Susie’s Advice

Last week the Pinter Posse and an addition took a field trip to Morrisons to buy some burgers. Once we had got everything we needed we went to the cheese deli counter to see how many free tasters we could get.

We got four.

The lady who served us was called Susie and she was chatty. She told us she was divorced which I thought was a funny thing to say because it seems quite personal to me.  A lot of people don’t want to get married anymore but Prince William and Kate Middleton announced they were getting married yesterday so maybe people will change their mind. Can Royals start fashions still?

Susie made us try some chilli cheese that we all found too hot but we didn’t want to show pain so we just looked at each other and nodded and said: ‘Mmm. Pretty good.’

When I googled ‘chili cheese’ this is what I got. Doesn’t it look like dog sick. Or worse.

 

 

Anyway, the chili cheese we tried didn’t look like that. But we still didn’t get it. In the end we got some Australian Cheddar, which in terms of ecologicalcarbonfootprintfriendliness is certainly the worst.

Then she gave us this advice: ‘The best way to make it last longer is to grate it.’ We weren’t so sure so when we got home we just chopped chunks off with a spoon because it was the only bit of clean cutterly left in the drawer.

However, we went back to Morrisons yesterday and I got some more cheese. We looked out for Susie but we couldn’t see her. When I got home I grated the whole block into a tupperware box. The experiment has begun.

November 10, 2010

Students.

Those students.

Presumably most study at the University of Luton, or London Met.

Or am I being too snobish?

November 9, 2010

Equality on Disability

I saw a very small story in the paper yesterday. It was tucked away on a middle page somewhere in the corner. It was on the government’s plans to bring into primary school education teaching on homosexuality. I suppose it’s to teach tolerance and understanding. Fine. But my biggest problem is that the last paragraph said that the government was, as a result, planning on bringing in a similar education style to teach about learning disabilities.

Surely that is the wrong way around?

It’s a shame that equality teaching on homosexuality is the forerunner for teaching on disabilities. There is such a lack of knowledge on learning disabilities in the UK. Granted we have never been so aware as we are now, but compare us to other countries, we are decades behind. Holland for example has five year degree courses on working with disabilities and a strong system for people who have disabilities.

I work part-time in a residential home for adults with learning disabilities and I love it. I love the residents. I think they are fantastic, but I shouldn’t be working there. Am I qualified? No. Have I done a course on working with learning disabilities? No. Did I attend one day, even one day, of  teaching on how to work with disabilities? No. You can do a degree in football management, and surfing, and creative writing, but where are the degrees on working with people with autism or brain damage or deafness?

So we say that every generation wants to fight for a cause: slavery, racial equality, feminism, free speech, independence, beatniks, peace, world debt, ecological living. What do we have now? We have homosexuality. Fine. To be frank, it’s been coming. I’m not surprised. But what frustrates me the most is that in the media, in society it has been pushed to the fore. It has become the most important topic of this generation and I can’t see it losing steam.

It’s just not that important. It doesn’t need to be fought for. Every section of our society gets marginalised from one angle or another. Whether you are from the North or the South, or from Wales, or Irish, or ginger, or black, or white, or gay, or if you’re tall or short, or young or old. It is just plain ridiculous to say a kid in the playground can’t say ‘gay’ because it’s derogatory and then I switch on my TV and see jokes made on disabilities, skin colour, hair colour, hobbies and race.  But don’t you dare make a joke about being gay because that’s just not fair – and after all we don’t want to hurt their feelings. Gay people have just as many rights as you, don’t you know? They do. I agree. But when we talk about fairness, remember that there are people who actually need support and don’t get it. In my opinion, that’s something worth fighting for.

November 8, 2010

The Pinter Posse – Meeting 2

The Pinter Posse met up today.

We didn’t talk about anything Pinterspecific – try saying that with a lisp! – but we did spend some time in a grimy second hand bookshop. Of course we were drawn to the so called Play section with texts written by so called playwrights who are so called good but there was only one book by Pinter.

We left in disgust and I went home and had a Pot Noodle. It was the first Pot Noodle I had eaten in a while, and I got it cheap from the SU shop, so I was looking forward to it. Unfortunately it didn’t satisfy my hunger and I had to have a packet of Mini Cheddars as well. There’s not much those bad boys don’t fix.

Today I also bought a copy of i, that new posh tabloid from the Independent. It was quite good. I think I will buy it again.

The Review Sketch as promised last blog.

Telephone Call

A couple are talking on the phone. The Man has just had a meeting with a major publishing company. Both are in their thirties. There is the sound of heavy traffic in the background.

WOMAN: Did they like it?

MAN: They loved it.

WOMAN: Fantastic. Did they love you?

MAN: They loved me.

WOMAN: That’s fantastic.

MAN: It went just how I said. Didn’t I say it would go this way? It’s fantastic.

WOMAN: That’s wonderful.

MAN Isn’t it.

WOMAN: Where are you now?

MAN: I’m walking down the Strand.

WOMAN: It’s really loud.

MAN: Isn’t it fantastic. I told you it would be fantastic.

WOMAN: I said that it’s hard to hear you.

MAN: Fantastic.

Pause

WOMAN: Tell me what happened exactly.

MAN: They loved it. The whole lot. They want to publish the whole lot.

WOMAN: That’s fantastic.

MAN: There’s going to be a party tonight. A big party.

WOMAN: The road is really loud.

MAN: I think it’s going to be a bit more sophisticated than that.

WOMAN: I wish I was there.

MAN: At the party?

WOMAN: No, with you.

MAN: I love you too.

Pause

WOMAN: The drug addicts are back.

MAN: I know. It’s fantastic. Isn’t it wonderful?

WOMAN: I said the drug addicts are back.

MAN: Bang on the window.

WOMAN: I’m too scared.

Beat

Where are you going?

MAN: I’m meeting up with Julie for lunch.

WOMAN: Who’s that?

MAN: Julie.

WOMAN: Who?

MAN: Julie.

Pause

WOMAN: Where are you meeting her?

MAN: What?

WOMAN: Where’s Julie.

MAN: I’m sorry, the traffic is loud it’s hard to hear you.

WOMAN: It’s hard to hear you too.

MAN: I’m sorry, it’s the road.

WOMAN: You always say that.

MAN: What?

WOMAN: That you’re sorry.

MAN: Why are you sorry?

WOMAN: Fantastic.

MAN: It is. Isn’t it? I told you it would be. They loved me. Are you going to come into town later?

WOMAN: I don’t know if I’d have the time.

MAN: We always used to go out in town.

WOMAN: Times have changed. I’ve tightened up.

MAN: We’ll go to that club like we did before. You know, last summer, we went to Koko, and then after we met those friends. Who were they again? One was wearing a Jack Wills t-shirt and the other – well the other had something else on. A boy and a girl. Don’t you remember the boy and the girl?

WOMAN: I don’t remember the club or the boy or the girl.

MAN: Maybe you were drunk. But why don’t you come down, and then we will stay overnight somewhere and go and watch the football tomorrow afternoon. That’s what you need; a bit of relaxation.

WOMAN: You think that would be fantastic.

MAN: It would be fantastic.

WOMAN: But things have tightened up a bit.

MAN: Well maybe that’s what you need.

WOMAN: What?

MAN: A bit of relaxation.

WOMAN: I’m sorry, I’ve lost you.

Pause

MAN: I was just saying you need a bit of relaxation.

WOMAN: I don’t think I’ll have the time.

Pause

MAN: I’m sorry, I think I have to go. I can see Julie.

WOMAN: Ok.

MAN: But I’ll see you in town later.

WOMAN: No.

MAN: I’ll send you a text and tell you where we are.

WOMAN: Fantastic.

MAN: I know, it’s just great. Really fantastic isn’t it.

November 2, 2010

Pint o’ Pinter and a Packet of Pork Scratchings

Rhodri and I have started a new club. It’s called The Pinter Posse.

Here is a picture of me with the man himself:

 

 

 

 

I think he probably looks a bit more intelligent.

As promised here is an extract from my Pinteresque play:

MAN

Bang on the window.

Pause

 

 

 

I know, it’s pretty exciting.